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Thread | Time for a Party?
at 13:03 18 Apr 2024
Has anyone got an idea of how many tickets Col U have sold for County? It has the potential to be the biggest away party since Huish Park. The weather is forecast to be sunny intervals!
One more question, assuming the S1 faithful will be heading to Hooters pre-match, morally, how old is too old to drink there? (fortunately I don’t have many morals).
I’ve managed to get another pass for the weekend, so I hope to see a few of you at the ground.
Great to meet Wessex and Noah last week, the latter being the only bloke I know with bigger ‘kippers’ than myself (only by the slightest of margins), so I share concerns about the steps and the Community Stadium being designed for midgets.
Reminds me of the useless careers teacher at the Gilberd, who took one look at my super-sized ‘plates’ and asked if I’d ever considered joining the police! I can’t remember if I said F##K OFF out loud, but I think he could tell I wasn’t impressed. To put it into context, punk was at it’s height at the time, so the straight and narrow didn’t align with the mood of the youff.
Whilst feet are the only appendage that I will be comparing with Noah, I can confirm that I too have been asked a 1001 times by ladies ‘if it’s true what they say about men with big feet’. If you asked Mrs TOOT to describe me, I’m sure no one would be surprised if the words ‘Massive C@ck’ were included in her response.
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Thread | Oh Dear, Never Mind
at 19:50 7 Apr 2024
Good to see Wyscum losing at Wembley in injury time, in the Chuckaturd, Paint Pot, Papa Bristols, Sheild, Cup, Prem Reserves, Waste Off Time, Trophy thing.
Let’s hope they get expelled from the league for wearing that disgraceful non-league strip.
Form is temporary, class is permanent. [Post edited 7 Apr 19:54]
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Thread | On a Scale of 1 to 10
at 13:59 21 Mar 2024
How shit is this
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-68625041
Where 1 is - that’s a very good use of public money and looks just like him
…and 10 is - are you ####ing serious
Ms Best added she hoped it would "inspire young and old alike that whatever your dream, big or small, you can achieve it"
Well, they truly are the words of a prize idiot.
If that’s true Emma, why haven’t I won the lottery, why haven’t I scored a goal in the world cup, why haven’t I taken 10-52 at Lords, why haven’t I shagged Cameron Diaz?
All ‘arry had to do was dream? It’s not like he was born gifted was it Emma.
[Post edited 21 Mar 14:23]
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Thread | Purple
at 11:24 18 Mar 2024
Why? |
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Thread | Revised Fixture List
at 12:20 12 Mar 2024
23rd March 12:30 KO Mansfield (A)
1st April 15:00 KO Tranmere (A)
13th April 15:00 KO Crawley (A)
20th April 15:00 KO Notts County (A)
27th April 03:00 KO Donny (H)
27th April 05:00 KO Walsall (H)
27th April 07:00 KO Newport (H)
27th April 09:00 KO Hollywood FC (H)
27th April 11:00 KO Stockport (H)
27th April 13:00 KO Grimsby (H)
27th April 15:00 KO Crewe (H)
The club would also like to advice the public that the Taylor Swift concert planned for July has been postponed. There will be in its place, a Topless Mud Wrestling contest. [Post edited 12 Mar 12:24]
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Thread | It's OFF
at 08:43 12 Mar 2024
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Thread | Harry Pell
at 08:33 8 Mar 2024
Accused of intentionally hoofing balls into the MK Dongs crowd, during the warm up (presumably he had no buckets of shit to hand).
The FA have given him until only the 11th March to explain himself, which is a bit ripe.
The FA have had 20 years to explain why they let Milton Keynes steal a football club from a dedicated group of fans, but as yet, they still have not been able to put forward any form of rational explanation.
As someone who clings on to a hope of one day completing the ‘92’ I have read various comments on sites dedicated to the subject. Under the heading of ‘worst grounds visited’ my favourite comment was “MK Dons ground, because it’s a 60 mile walk from Wimbledon tube station”.
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Thread | Warning - Non Football Post
at 08:30 6 Mar 2024
OK, so I’ve been driving since the dark days of Austin Allegros, but something was brought to my attention recently and I could not believe it.
I’m guessing that you probably all know this and it’s just my friends and family that have conspired to keep this from me, for the last 40 years, as a joke.
At the risk of making myself look thicker than pig shit, I can confess that I did not know that the little arrow beside a petrol pump sign on your dashboard tells you which side of the car the filler cap is on.
https://www.123rf.com/photo_70659679_fuel-gauge-with-red-indicator-at-full-level
Not all cars have this, but a lot do. It’s no shame if your car hasn’t got one, as I have done some research and it doesn’t appear to have anything to do with a cars value or age.
Question A – Why don’t all cars have this?
Question B – Why don’t we all get told about it when we learn to drive?
Can you imagine a world where you don’t have to sit patiently, on a forecourt, while some bimbo tries to stretch the hose into the next county, so it will reach to the other side of their monster 4x4 w@n#er tank.
OK, I can now feel the smugness coming from electric car drivers.
“Oh Katey, do come and look at this oik, banging on about filling his car with dinosaur juice. I can’t remember the last time I visited one of those disgusting places. I think it may have been when you forgot the spelt ryebread and avocado sarnies. You know, when we were on our way to the Latitude Festival and I had to stop for a couple of chai seed and kumquat energy bars.
“Well don’t speak too soon Tarquin, the girls from extinction rebellion are coming round this morning for an organic, shade grown, latte, and @cado have forgotten to deliver the almond milk”.
…oh no, TOOT’s down at Strawberry Field again.
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Thread | Man Ure
at 19:03 21 Feb 2024
I see Jim ‘Mr Brexit- pay feck all tax cos I live in Monaco’ Radcliffe is gobbing off about what he would like to do for Man Ure and build a national stadium in the north of England.
I hate to break the news to the Mancs but his record of delivering for the UK could be better. Apart from dodging an estimated £4bn of tax by hopping off to the Med after getting his beloved Brexit, in 2019 he announced that his 4x4 Grenadier (or dogs dinner if you prefer) would be built in a brand new factory in Wales.
Surprise, surprise he ended up changing his plans and builds the car in (Toot kisses his badge) France where there are no supply chain problems.
Still as a consolation the UK managed to scrap the EU law that said it had to stop putting shit in its rivers. Thanks for your help Jim, it's much appreciated, the UK could do with more patriots like you.
Just a madcap idea, but if you want to be the big 'I am' for the north of England, maybe you could chip in some income tax so they can rebuild some of the crumbling schools? I appreciate you may be down to your last 20 billion USD, but any contribution you may like to make would be gratefully received.
[Post edited 21 Feb 19:36]
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Thread | Never mind a Suffolk Punch
at 13:40 5 Jan 2024
Spare a thought tomorrow for the police horses in Sunderland.
It is eight years since the last toon/mackem showdown, but more importantly the knob that punched a police horse in 2013 was banned from football for six years and will therefore be free to swing another ‘haymaker’.
The horse named ‘Bud’, was in a stable condition for years to come, and died in 2020 at the age of 21. Which I believe, in the mane, is not a bad innings for a horse?
In memory of Bud, I hope the toon have a ‘mare and the Mackems win at a canter. Any luck Sheikh rattle and roll will trot off with his money, back to the land of misogyny.
PS. A word of advice, don’t make the same mistake as me, if you are ever in the north-east, don’t go into Costa and ask for an oat milk latte…..
….because, ya canny have a latte weer ooot milk.
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Thread | Luke Littler
at 18:38 2 Jan 2024
16 years of age.....
.... pull the other one, 36 more like!
I reckon his mum's been fiddling the child benefit and now they daren't alter his papers. LOL
[Post edited 2 Jan 18:38]
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Thread | Jumpers for goalpost hmmmmm!
at 08:39 19 Apr 2022
Those were the days Ron!
Who needs a Director of Performance, all we need is a VHS recorder and a Jiffy bag.
Don't know if anyone has seen this but I found interesting.
https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/61084931
I can't help thinking that it's all been made a bit complicated nowadays. It certainly didn't help Watford that much! |
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Thread | Jon de Souza
at 07:06 15 Apr 2022
Not sure if I've missed anything, but has he left the Club?
Companies House website states his appointment as a Director was terminated yesterday?
It also states in the latest accounts, Creditors: amounts falling due after more than one year £29.2M.
Under the same heading in 2006, the amount was £0.
FUBB |
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Thread | Attendance
at 09:28 19 Sep 2021
I haven’t seen all the stats but I’m pretty sure we had the lowest attendance in the football league by some considerable margin (to add to our astronomic debt).
Robbie’s death by a thousand cuts, if this was a novel you’d stop reading as it’s pretty obvious where it’s heading.
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Thread | Can we stop worrying?
at 11:13 19 Apr 2021
If the Super League goes ahead and the big 6 naff off. Does that mean that 6 teams will automatically move up from each division?
i.e. no relegations this year? |
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