 | Forum
Reply | Corny Joke Warning
at 17:44 2 Jul 2025
A young woman starts her new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
The first is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.
As she does this a huge fish jumps out and bites her. To show who is boss, she beats it to death with a spade.
Realising her employer won't be very pleased she disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, she is
attacked by the chimps that pelt her with coconuts.
She swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both.
What can she do?
Feed them to the lions, she says to herself, because lions eat anything... She hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
She moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees.
As soon as she starts she is attacked by the bees. She grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now she knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo.. He wanders up to
another lion and says,
"What's the food like here?"
The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had ....
Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees |
| Forum
Reply | Corny Joke Warning
at 14:26 21 Jun 2025
A woman with small boobs buys an old mirror from an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door.
The next morning, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror on my door, make my boobs size 44!"
There in a flash of light, her biobs grow to enormous proportions. She immediately runs down to her husband, and tells him the startling news.
They both go upstairs to the bathroom, and the husband crosses his fingers, and says,
"Mirror, mirror on my door, make my penis touch the floor!"
There's a flash of light, and both his legs fall off! |
| Forum
Reply | Skype
at 22:56 10 Apr 2025
Forced me onto Teams and stole all my Skype credit. To$$ers. |
| Forum
Reply | Marti - Glasgow Rangers.
at 02:19 17 Feb 2025
How's your brother and his taxi driving going, JJB? Haven't heard from you since WATRB days. |
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Reply | Good intentions
at 02:17 1 Feb 2025
People will always let you down. Trust no-one, say nothing. |
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Reply | Half decent tv
at 01:22 11 Jan 2025
Cra is a dismal, dark, dirge of a show. Slow and depressing as well as insulting to the audience. No suspense, no humour, no likeable characters. A disgrace to the art. |
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Reply | Film 2025
at 21:58 10 Jan 2025
Small Things Like These with Cillian Murphy is worth a watch. Oscar worthy nomination for Murphy. [Post edited 12 Jan 19:35]
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Reply | Caption Competition
at 14:19 17 Nov 2024
See this? You'll get a smack if you don't pass forwards! |
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Reply | Moving to the USA?
at 23:00 5 Nov 2024
Once went to Fort Worth on business. Went out for a meal by myself and ordered a bottle of wine. They refused and then proceeded to serve me 6 individual glasses of wine. Go figure.
The next night I was meeting a group from the company I was doing work for and the first to arrive at the restaurant.
I was asked to sign a waiver taking responsibility for everyone's drinking! Texas eh!? |
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Reply | Summer holiday book recommendations
at 16:43 30 Aug 2024
Light Summer reading recommendations:
Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine - Gail Honeyman
Remarkably Bright Creatures - Shelby Van Pelt
Both heartwarming reads. |
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Reply | Bordeaux go bust
at 22:41 25 Jul 2024
I just wish everyone would put a cork in it. |
| Forum
Reply | Caption Competition
at 11:04 5 Jul 2024
Colback: "Taylor Richards is coming back to training." |
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Reply | IPTV and amazon firestick
at 14:35 10 Jun 2024
I added an app called OTT Navigator to Chromecast and input the link; username and password my IPTV provider gave me - 2000 channels! |
| Forum
Reply | Half decent tv
at 02:23 20 Apr 2024
Baby Reindeer on Netflix... Squirmingly brilliant. [Post edited 20 Apr 2024 2:24]
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Site Scores| Forum Votes: | 161 | | Comment Votes: | 1 | | Prediction League: | 0 | | TOTAL: | 162 |
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