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In the words of Frank Sinatra (or actually Paul Anka) “and now, the end is near, and so I face the final curtain”, as The U’sual Ramblings #34 brings the season to a close. Despite the frustration of the actual result last Saturday at the Keepmoat (take a bow Mr Sunny Sukhvir Gill and your powderpuff linesmen), our season is finishing on a very positive note overall — certainly considerably more positive than it could have been. First and foremost Ben Garner is making the U’s very difficult to defeat, or even just score against. Latterly, we seem to be starting to get things right at the other end too (let’s face it, we should have scored at least three last weekend). On Monday, Mansfield have to go for it if they are to have any chance of making the play-offs, which with our solid defence, pace in midfield and strength in attack should make for an entertaining game in front what will probably be our largest home crowd of the season.
Grrrr
Incidentally, I will be taking a rest from blogging over the summer, take stock and have a think about what I may or may not do for next season. I’ve always said to myself if the blog becomes a chore, time to stop, but whilst I’m still enjoying doing it, I fancy I’ll probably continue in one form or another. If anyone has suggestions for content etc. (polite or otherwise), I’m all ears.
The world outside U’s World So, is there much going on domestically this weekend? 😊
I’m sure many of us have watched, and probably enjoyed the coronation of King Charles III and Queen Camilla, despite the typically dreadful British weather. I must admit I’m a somewhat uneasy royalist, and perhaps more of a closet monarchist by definition. The latter probably stems from my passion as an archaeologist, and that ability to trace the line of our monarchy right back to Æthelstan in 925 AD, and even before then to Egbert, Alfred the Great and the rest of the Saxon Kings of Wessex. Of course, the gloriously murderous and treacherous monarchy back then was way more fun than the beige version we have these days, but still they connect across the ages (notwithstanding the brief hiatus when Charles I became a foot shorter).
It's the little things that appeal to me, such as the heavily graffitied 14th century coronation chair at Westminster Abbey, or the almost medieval disrobing of the monarch behind screens to be anointed. I love these human touches in our traditions that reach back through time, even if most of the graffiti is 18th and 19th century (plus some minor bomb damage from the Suffragettes) — that’s all part of the story. But probably the most moving moment of the whole day — when the massed ranks gave King Charles three cheers, that definitely brought a lump to my throat.
There’s also a bit of a family tradition to uphold, as I think it’s fair to say that most of my immediate family are affirmed royalists (I must be the black sheep). My Mother, and my Nan before her, would keep newspapers from key moments in our history. These include, amongst others, King George VI’s funeral, Churchill’s funeral, Queen Elizabeth’s coronation, her 21st birthday party, and of course Diana’s funeral. When Mum passed, I became the custodian of that archive, so I felt duty-bound to both watch the coronation, and will have to head out tomorrow to buy a special edition newspaper or two.
In other news, Trump is a crook and needs jailing as soon as possible — message ends.
U’s World As it’s been two weeks since my last blog, a quick update on the runners and riders for League 2 2023/24.
League 1 Forest Green Rovers and Accrington Stanley are definitely relegated (Accy aren’t going to bridge a -16 GD shortfall). It’s two from three after that from the final matches on Sunday, with just a point separating Cambridge United, Morecambe and MK Dons. Although they have the better GD, I can see MK Dons failing to win at Burton Albion, and Morecambe probably doing the same at Exeter — which leaves Cambridge United to win at home against already relegated league whipping-boys FGR to pull off a remarkable escape.
League 2 Only two outcomes to resolve — will Stockport overtake Northampton to claim the last automatic promotion place, and can Mansfield gate-crash the play-off party with a +4 GD swing? Last blog I backed Northampton to hold on to automatic promotion, but I’m not so sure now — they have a tricky visit to Tranmere Rovers facing them, whilst Stockport face relegated Hartlepool at Edgeley Park — my money’s on Stockport this weekend. As for the scabs, not a chance, as the U’s batter them 3-0. Incidentally, Salford City to win the play-offs.
National League The National League play-offs have already started, with Bromley winning 2-1 at Woking and Boreham Wood doing likewise at Barnet (which sadly takes a trip to the Hive off the table for next season). Tomorrow, Notts County face Boreham Wood in the lunchtime kick-off, with Chesterfield at home to Bromley later in the afternoon. Logic dictates a Notts County vs Spireites final, with my prediction Chesterfield the surprise play-off final winners for promotion alongside Wrexham.
Thanks to the U’s much-improved form under Ben Garner, he was rightly nominated for the EFL League 2 Manager of the Month award for April, and had we won at Donny (thanks again Mr Gill), he might have been in with a half-decent shout. Needless to say, he was up against three other managers at the other end of the table (Steve Evans at Stevenage, Dave Challinor at Stockport and Richie Wellens at Orient), with the trophy eventually awarded to Stevenage manager Steve Evans.
Speaking of awards, a reminder that the Colchester United 2022/23 awards will be announced and presented on the pitch once the Mansfield game has finished, when the players will of course be doing their lap of honour, signing autographs etc. In addition to the three ‘official’ awards for Player of the Year, Young POTY and Goal of the Season, CUSA will also be presenting their POTY and Away POTY, and Hospital Radio their own POTY.
…and finally — with the perceived wisdom being that Junior Tchamadeu will likely be sold in the summer, Monday will be an opportunity to see what life after Junior might look like, following two yellow cards and a red after a post-match frank exchange of views with Mr Gill at Donny. I personally think we’ll hold on to Junior for now. I sense Robbie has got his mojo back a bit and will repel all bidders and keep him through to January next year. Then, and only then, will we sell him for considerably more than was rejected in the summer, and with the U’s five points clear at the top of the league.
Nurse, nurse! I can hear the voices again…
Stat attack So, last game of the season, and our 81st last league game of a domestic season since our formation in 1937 (that includes the curtailed 1939/40 season). Our record is pretty good as far as final league games of a season are concerned, with 38 won, 17 drawn and only 25 lost, and you have to go back to 2018 to find our last defeat, 1-0 at Exeter City (Matt Jay was on the bench that day). The record is even better when the U’s are at home for the last league game, winning 23, drawing eight and losing ten, which hopefully bodes well for Monday.
This will be the first time we’ve faced Mansfield on the final day. Torquay and Carlisle have featured most frequently, both featuring four times. When you consider the distances involved for the long-suffering supporters of all three clubs in opposite corners of the country, those are pretty harsh draws from the fixture list computer. Incidentally, the U’s have won three and lost one against both teams.
Four teams are currently on three games each, and they’re not exactly our near-neighbours either: Notts County, Tranmere Rovers, Doncaster Rovers and Yeovil Town. Notts County are the side we’d rather not meet again, losing all three games, whereas (ironically) Doncaster Rovers most definitely are, with the U’s winning all three of our final-day encounters. I remember one of those vividly, as we snatched an unlikely play-off place at Layer Road back in 1996.
Our best performance on the final day of a season? Has to be that memorable 5-0 demolition of Barrow at Layer Road for Roy McDonough’s U’s to regain our league status. There are a couple of 5-1’s in there too, most notably for Bobby Roberts at Prenton Park back in May 1979 (and in front of just 1,016). Mind you, there’ve been some pastings too, none worse than Benny Fenton’s U’s losing 6-0 at Meadow Lane back in May 1963, although Neil Franklin losing 5-1 against Posh at Layer Road in 1968 runs it a close second.
The record attendance for our final league game of a season was 36,901 against Coventry City at Highfield Road back in 1964, with Neil Franklin’s U’s losing 1-0, followed by 19,868 at Home Park in 2004 for Plymouth Argyle’s promotion parade, but more on that later. On the subject of where are y’all, the paltry 1,016 at Prenton Park in 1979 isn’t the lowest attendance for a final game of the season. Apart from lockdown, that honour goes to the brave 856 who turned up at the Shay in 1976 to watch Bobby Roberts’ U’s draw 1-1 with Halifax Town.
Match of the Day Plymouth Argyle v Colchester United 8th May 2004 Nationwide Football League Second Division (Tier 3) Attendance 19,868
Ha! Very funny PAFC…
I must admit, I was in a bit of a quandary about which game to go with for this weekend. For obvious reasons I’d considered a royal theme, but nothing really fitted that well (the Queen’s coronation, for instance, had been during the summer), or just let the memorabilia random match selector do the heavy lifting. In the end, I’ve gone for the most recent last match of the season in my memorabilia archive (obviously excluding any previously featured).
That means today’s Match of the Day actually goes back almost exactly nineteen years, to when Phil Parkinson’s U’s travelled to Home Park to face aforementioned champions-elect Plymouth Argyle. This was our sixth successive season back in the 3rd tier, and under Parky we’d have one of our best so far during that spell. Okay, so that meant no more than a comfortable mid-table finish, but small steps and all that. Plymouth Argyle, managed then by Bobby Williamson after Paul Sturrock had left for Southampton in March, had already ensured promotion several weeks earlier, and by this match were also guaranteed going up as champions, thanks mainly to a 2-0 win over second place QPR in their previous home fixture. As a result, the game attracted nearly 20k to Home Park for the final match and celebrations after.
There was a degree of controversy leading up to this game too, as Phil Parkinson had already let it be known he wouldn’t allow the U’s to form the traditional ‘guard of honour’ as Argyle took to the pitch. Parky insisted his team remained professional and focussed on the game, rather than psychologically abasing themselves in front of their opponents before a ball had been kicked. After all, with results going our way, we could finish in 8th place, and that’s what Parky insisted the U’s focus on.
Plymouth Argyle as a football club seemed reasonably okay with this, after all, it wasn’t as if it was an FA rule, but as you can imagine, some of the locals (yokels, shurely? — ed.) were foaming at the mouth over this egregious affront to their bigness. Mind you, Argyle’s choice of programme cover for this game, reminding us of our play-off semi-final visit back in 1996, certainly smacked of mind games — a reminder if you will that we needed to know our place in the pecking order. Never really liked Plymouth Argyle if I’m honest.
Parky had been building a strong side since his arrival as manager, and for this match his team lined up:
1….Simon Brown 22..Greg Halford 19..Alan White 27..Wayne Brown 25..Sam Stockley 4….Gavin Johnson (10. Gareth Williams 73’) 17..Bobby Bowry (6. Thomas Pinault 70’) 10..Kem Izzet 3….Joe Keith 9….Scott McGleish 8….Wayne Andrews
I took the train down for this game and grabbed a couple of pre-match beers in the Pennycomequick pub just around the corner from the train station. Sadly, this is another matchday pub that’s lost to the football supporter, now apparently converted into student apartments. Suitably refreshed, I joined what must have been at least 3-400 other U’s supporters in one block at one end of the rebuilt section of Home Park, with everywhere else jammed full of Pilgrims.
As for the game, despite there being half a division and a gulf in class between the two sides, the U’s gave a pretty good account of themselves both on and off the pitch. Kemi and Joe in particular were working hard in midfield breaking up Argyle’s possession-based approach at every turn, with Wayne Brown his usual indomitable self at the back. But the pressure was mounting.
It was Bobby Bowry who came to the rescue first off, easing David Friio away from a long free-kick flick-on by Mickey Evans, allowing Simon Brown to gather comfortably. Mind you, the U’s were caught napping not long after, after Kemi gave away a free-kick on the halfway line. Expecting a long punt into the box, Argyle took a quick short one, and with the U’s ball-watching, Mickey Evans should have done better than head the low driven cross into the box wide of goal.
Just over 15 minutes in, and with Wayne Andrews seemingly outstripping Graham Coughlan on the left wing, he was harshly adjudged to have tugged back his marker in doing so. Another short free-kick caught the U’s flat-footed, and when the cross was lofted into our six yard box there was Friio in acres of space to turn and drill his shot past Simon Brown to give Argyle a 1-0 lead. To be honest, the U’s tightened things up significantly after that, with the first half finishing with Plymouth Argyle holding onto that slender one goal lead.
Not that it lasted long into the second half unfortunately. Barely two minutes of the second half had elapsed before David Norris made it 2-0. Marino Keith (who would join the U’s the following season) laid off a high ball to Tony Capaldi, who’s looping cross found Mickey Evans in the box. His swivelling shot was blocked by Bowry (I think?), only for the ball to spin fortuitously into the path of Norris, and his low curling shot somehow squeezed just inside Simon Brown’s far post.
However, as much as Home Park was rocking, the U’s still had some fight in them, and started to put Argyle under some real pressure. On the hour mark a trademark Greg Halford long throw from near the corner flag had the Argyle defence in a right pickle, and with shades of Doncaster in mind, Wayne Andrews’ drilled shot from a tight angle seemed to have crossed the line before it was blocked. The ball spun up and there was Kemi Izzet to power in his header for a certain goal.
Certain that is, but for the last ditch hand of David Friio on the line, who did his goalkeeper proud with a fine save, followed by the inevitable straight red card. Up stepped top scorer for the U’s Scott McGleish, already in the wars and with his head bandaged, but he managed to drill his low penalty just wide of Luke McCormick’s right hand post. Ever get the feeling it’s going to be one of those days?
That missed penalty kind of knocked the stuffing out of the U’s, and in truth in the last 20 or so minutes Argyle, but for some world class saves from Simon Brown, could easily have added a couple more. However, special mention must go to Gareth Williams, in the last appearance of his second loan spell at Colchester United, who in injury-time managed to beat the offside trap, rounded goalkeeper McCormick, only to see his shot from a tight angle come back off the face of the post. Definitely one of those days…
Plymouth Argyle 2 (David Friio 17’; David Norris 47’) Colchester United 0
Despite the ill-tempered preamble to the game over the silly guard of honour stuff, at the final whistle I was shaking hands with Argyle supporters and love was in the air. As the U’s contingent left the stadium to allow Argyle to have their party in peace, applauding the league champions and the rest of Home Park as we went, we in turn received appreciative applause from the Argyle supporters.
With everyone in Plymouth staying behind for the celebrations to come, I had an unhindered stroll back to the Pennycomequick, in time for a quick one before my train back to Salisbury. We would sign Gareth Williams permanently in the summer for his 3rd spell at the club, and two years later we joined Argyle in the Championship.
Amazingly, there’s a YouTube video of Plymouth Argyle’s promotion celebrations the following day, which includes highlights from the game as well.
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