So it’s April Fool’s day for The U’sual Ramblings #30, but please don’t expect anything seasonally appropriate, because right now where we are is no joke at all. Yes, I still have confidence we’ll have enough about us to avoid the drop — the matches are fast running out, and with three teams still below us, we ought to get through this season relatively unscathed. That will give Ben Garner the summer to work on and strengthen his squad to be able to adapt to the tactics he wants going forward. There you go, as April Fool’s jokes go, that’s about as far as I can take it for now 😊.
The world outside U’s World
Well then, the unprecedented is no longer unprecedented, a President of the United States has now been indicted for alleged crimes committed. Not that this came as much of a surprise to be honest, it was always anticipated that DA Alvin Bragg would indict Trump in the Stormy Daniels, real name Stephanie Clifford, hush money case, and it is very likely this won’t be the only indictment Trump receives over the next few months or so. Right now, other than Bragg and his legal team, no one is quite sure what crimes he is being charged with, as the indictment remains under seal until his arraignment, currently scheduled for next Tuesday in Manhattan.
What we do know is having sex with an adult film star whilst your new wife is at home looking after your new-born son isn’t illegal — sleazy most definitely, but not illegal. It’s also not technically illegal to pay hush money to buy Ms Clifford’s silence on the matter just days before the 2016 presidential election — morally corrupt, but not illegal. Michael Cohen, Trump’s personal attorney at the time, has already spent time in jail for his role in arranging payments to women (i.e. more than one) including Ms Clifford on behalf of Trump, having pleaded guilty to tax evasion and campaign finance allegations.
On his release in November 2021, Cohen ominously (for Trump) declared he wanted to work with law enforcement to "ensure that others are held responsible for their dirty deeds and that no one is ever believed to be above the law. My release today in no way negates the actions I took at the direction of and for the benefit of Donald J Trump”. Trump likely faces two dozen or more separate charges, some of which (like a potential violation of campaign finance laws) are felonies with jail time as a minimum if found guilty.
Couldn’t happen to a more deserving sleazebag
In other news, remember Covid, the disease that just won’t go away? Well it hasn’t, and is still very much here. Millions of vulnerable people across the UK will be offered a booster jab next week, as data shows that infection levels are on the rise again and set to escalate as the weather improves and more people get out and about mingling freely.
Wimbledon Tennis Club have agreed to lift the ban on Russian and Belarusian tennis players at this years competition, provided said players sign neutral declarations ahead of the tournament. The statements will specify (1) they are not representing their parent states, (2) they are not receiving funding from their parent states, and (3) they will not express support for either the invasion or their parent states. It remains to be seen which players, if any, will sign these.
Environment Secretary Therese Coffey is facing calls to resign, as the latest figures show raw sewage discharges into our waterways occurred a staggering 825 times per day last year. Whilst this is actually a 19% decrease from the previous year, Environment Agency executive director John Leyland was quick to stress this has nothing to do with water company action and is almost entirely down to an increase in dry weather during the reporting period.
U’s World
Not too much to report on from U’s World this week. Sadly our U21s were beaten 3-1 at Coventry on Tuesday afternoon, our goal a late consolation from centre forward and rising star Kaan Bennett. Having turned 18 last summer, Kaan must be hoping his professional debut for the U’s can’t now be too far away.
On Good Friday the U’s travel to Stevenage in another of our must-win games, and yours truly will be making the trip to cheer us on. Spurs normally play their Premier League 2 games at Broadhall Way, so instead for their Good Friday game against Wolves they will head for North Essex to play the match. For those of you not making the journey to Hertfordshire, tickets are £5 for adults and £2 for concessions if you want a chance to watch some of the possible stars of the future grace the JobServe turf.
Harrogate drew 1-1 at Tranmere last night, Tranmere’s goal at one point believed to have been a Tom Eastman own goal, but it turned out the free kick, which came back off the post, actually struck goalkeeper Mark Oxley and rebounded into the net. Harrogate’s point, whilst I’m sure gratifying for them, is of little consequence for the U’s, they were already one point ahead anyway.
Forgetting about Rochdale (who are at Wimbledon), it’s how Crawley get on away at Mansfield and Hartlepool at home to Swindon today that we need to worry about. Mansfield are still in with a realistic chance of the play-offs, but you’d imagine Swindon’s hopes of the same are all but extinguished. Still, always pride to play for Robins, if you have any?
Stat attack
We’ve played on April Fool’s Day a total of 18 times over the years, since Ted Davis’s U’s battered Torquay United Reserves 5-1 at Layer Road back in 1939. Of those 18 matches, eight were won, three drawn and seven lost, so you’d probably think odds slightly in our favour perhaps?
Maybe so from a stats point of view, but more worrying is we haven’t won an April Fool’s Day match since Ian Atkins’ U’s won 2-1 at Gateshead back in our first Conference season. On the flip side. the good news is that despite that dreary run of results, of the eight April Fool’s Day matches we’ve played at home, we’ve won six, drawn one and lost one.
Today will also be the first April Fool’s Day match at our new ground, our previous home fixture on this day being a 1-1 draw with Brentford at Layer Road back in 2006. Seasoned U’s supporters will possibly remember that game, when Phil Parkinson’s U’s battered fellow promotion chasers Brentford but missed a string of chances and only gained a point for their efforts — though we did end up with the consolation prize of promotion to the Championship that season.
Match of the Day
Colchester United v Sheffield Wednesday
15th November 2003
Nationwide Football Second Division (Tier 3)
Attendance 5,018
-15th-nov-2003.jpg)
Courtesy of ColuData
Keeping with the Phil Parkinson theme, the Match of the Day memorabilia random match selector choses one from Parky’s first full season in charge, with the U’s at home to Sheffield Wednesday in 2003. November is always a busy time as far as family birthdays are concerned, and so I found myself in Essex in part to celebrate my Mum’s, big sister’s and god-daughters birthdays, but also obviously take in the chance for a football match too.
With Sheffield Wednesday and their sizeable support in town, and the U’s riding high in the league, this one was an all-ticket near sell-out. Now, I’m not exactly certain how this one is listed in my memorabilia archive, as I don’t appear to have a programme, nor my ticket stub, and it’s not scribbled on my calendar for that year — but I was definitely there, in Essex for the big family celebrations, and me and Steve on the Barside for the game — so I am once again indebted to Graeson’s ColuData website for the programme front cover.
After a shaky start to the season, with back-to-back defeats against Barnsley, Swindon and Port Vale, Phil Parkinson had managed to turn things around, and in a run of 14 league games with eight victories, four draws and just two defeats, had the U’s in 3rd place. By their standards, Sheffield Wednesday, relegated from the First Division the previous season, weren’t having quite such a good time, and a string of draws and defeats in recent weeks had seen them slip back into midtable.
Phil Parkinson’s U’s lined up that afternoon:
1….Simon Brown
25..Sam Stockley
5….Scott Fitzgerald
18..Liam Chilvers
2….Andy Myers (19. Alan White 77’)
7….Karl Duguid
6….Thomas Pinault
17..Bobby Bowry
16..Rowan Vine
12..Craig Fagan
9….Scott McGleish (8. Wayne Andrews 72’)
It’s also worth noting that this was one of the first matches back for referee Paul Danson. Less than two months earlier Danson had been involved in an accidental clash of heads at Selhurst Park with Palace player Michael Hughes and knocked unconscious during a game against WBA. Danson had to be stretchered off and taken to hospital for treatment to a fractured cheek bone and cut mouth. Hughes played on, albeit with a large gash on his forehead. No stranger to controversy, in 2001 Danson had infuriated then Birmingham City manager Trevor Francis when he moved their play-off semi-final penalty shoot-out at Preston from in front of an empty stand at Deepdale to the opposite end behind which the Preston supporters were massed. Francis temporarily removed his players from the pitch in protest, and eventually did also lose the penalty shoot-out.
Anyway, back to the U’s and as is rarely the case whenever we play the Owls, Wednesday were considered very much the underdogs for this game, despite being roared on by 1,000+ packed into the Layer Road end. That proved to be the measure of the day too, with the U’s dominant right from the start, and Wednesday fighting an albeit valiant rear-guard defence. The combination of Pinault trickery, Sideways Bob composure, and of course the pace of Vine, Fagan and McGleish up front was giving the Owls a torrid time, and it was a wonder they held out for as long as they did.
However, eventually the dominance told, with super Scotty McGleish putting the U’s into a deserved 1-0 lead on 27 minutes, much to the delight of three-quarters of Layer Road. The pressure didn’t relent either, with Sheffield Wednesday fortunate (one might even say gallant) to manage to hold on at just 1-0 down through to half-time, and time to wade through the Barside toilets to relieve the pressure of some pre-match Drury refreshments.
To be fair, Owls manager Chris Turner must have put a substantial rocket up the backsides of his squad at half-time, because they came out a different side for the second half. With players like Lloyd Owusu and Adam Proudlock on the pitch, we always knew they’d be dangerous if they got into gear, and so it proved as the second half wore on. Just before the hour mark, they got the equaliser their rallied performance deserved, with defender Lee Bromby latching onto a loose ball and hammering past Simon Brown.
Now it really was game-on, with the U’s and the Owls going toe-to-toe slugging it out to find a winner, roared on by both sets of supporters. Parky was the first to change things around, bringing on Wayne Andrews for the tiring McGleish in the 72nd minute, and then five minutes later Alan White for the struggling Andy Myers, at the same time as Chris Turner introduced Steve Haslam.
As we ticked over less than ten minutes to go, it really was starting to look like we’d have to be content with a point, when finally the deadlock was broken. Wayne Andrews had only been on the pitch less than ten minutes when he drilled the U’s into a 2-1 lead on 81 minutes, and the roar from the Faithful was deafening. Although all hope was probably gone for Wednesday, they battled on, and had their chances to get a second equaliser that on paper they possibly deserved, only to be finally undone deep into injury-time, as Craig Fagan scored with a fantastic effort from the edge of the box to give the U’s three goals and all three points.
(not the Owls game btw)
Colchester United 3 (Scott McGleish 27’; Wayne Andrews 81’; Craig Fagan 90+5’) Sheffield Wednesday 1 (Leigh Bromby 58’)
To be fair, that third goal somewhat flattered the U’s, not that we were complaining too much as we spilled out onto Layer Road that November evening. The result kept us very much in the hunt for at least a play-off place, only to be bought back to earth with a bump the following Saturday, losing 4-0 against relegation-threatened Rushden & Diamonds.
In fact, all the way through to mid-March was a barren source of amusement for the U’s, and by the end to the season we had to be content with a reasonably respectable 11th place. Although Sheffield Wednesday finished only three points outside the relegation zone, in reality they were comfortably safe, with four other teams between them and the relegation zone.
Wayne Andrews would go on to play on loan for Sheffield Wednesday in 2006.
Up the U’s!
Blog credits:
https://edition.cnn.com/2023/03/31/politics/trump-indictment-what-to-know/index.
https://www.theweek.co.uk/daily-briefing#1
https://www.cu-fc.com/news/news-archive/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2003%E2%80%9304_Colchester_United_F.C._season
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2003%E2%80%9304_Football_League
https://www.gazette-news.co.uk/news/5445908.colchester-united-3-1-sheffield-wedn
https://www.coludata.co.uk/match/1022/3131?sort=sdate&order=asc&fsea=all
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Danson
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