The best the News of the World could come up with is Fabian Delph joining either one of those "Premiership giants" erm Bolton or Stoke!

No I could not quite believe it either, the ever-reliable "News of the Screws" reckons that Bolton and Stoke are slugging it out to capture Leeds' midfield sensation Fabian Delph!

It was probably a story even more bizarre than Boris Johnson's "floating island airport" in the Thames Estuary to replace Heathrow.

The close of the transfer-window has had serious repercussions for the mental-health of the sports journalists who used to dream up weird and wonderful stories on a weekly basis.

Delph has just signed a four-year-deal at Leeds. Given his stature, it is unlikely that he would even cast a glance at Bolton or Stoke and we will probably be playing them both next season anyway!

And would any teenager worth his salt seriously think he could hone his precocious talent under the likes of Gary Megson or Tony Pulis?

I think the cat would even turn his nose up if you used this story to line his litter-tray!

Photo: Action Images

Colchester United Polls