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Red Devils To Be Put Through Hell
at 09:30 14 Mar 2026

Every team that has ever got out of L2, has had to cope with shite refs and teams that want to play ugly and kick you off the park. It's no good moaning, it's always been the case.

On paper the next three game don't look too clever, away to the top two teams and then the Saddlers who will probably be on a new manager bounce, but at least they might try to play football, which will give us some chance. Samson and Goodwin would struggle to get into a good Nat League side at the moment and they both need new pastures. 3 in 34 and 2 in 20 just isn't even close for a number 9. We need a different approach.

Sadly, I think our season was stretchered off at Newport, but there are still games to be enjoyed regardless of the results, especially as the weather improves. We are 25 points above the relegation zone, the bills are being payed and hopefully as every day goes by, a realisation is creeping in that the club isn't a jewel of the EFL and isn't worth top dollar. Hopefully one day soon this seemingly eternal 'treading water' will end (for better or worse).

I look at it like someone selling their house. Some listen to the Estate Agent and take the first cheeky offer that comes along. Others are deluded and believe their house is a palace. In between is the full spectrum of human nature, but ultimately anything is only worth what you are being offered for it.
[Post edited 14 Mar 9:45]
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Binnerettes game called off
at 18:47 12 Mar 2026



[Post edited 12 Mar 18:48]
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Binnerettes game called off
at 16:22 12 Mar 2026

Wow, that's remarkable that someone in the USA would firstly know about Brad and secondly try to head hunt him.


On a separate issue, how's Mitch getting on hawking our club around the USA?
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Binnerettes game called off
at 11:18 9 Mar 2026

I can’t believe I’m turning down an opportunity to dis the way the club is run, but looking at this, young Brad doesn’t like to let the……erm…………..’grass grow under his feet’……… as it were.

https://www.thegma.org.uk/what

He looks like he’s only been shaving a few months, but in his short career, he has had a high number of jobs, most of them far more illustrious than Col U. So I guess we were lucky to have him at the JCS at all.

I expect he will end up at a ‘big club’ in the near future.


EDIT: Does Tim Waddington do stand up? “we have a stadium playing surface that the club has never had before”

Guess you never saw Layer Road then Tim? Let me suggest a correction for you: “we now have the best stadium playing surface the club has had since it went to the dogs”
[Post edited 9 Mar 11:26]
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Friday earworm music thread
at 15:11 6 Mar 2026

My favourite video and lyrics from an exiled life:



Entitled ‘The People’, this roughly translates as :

There are travellers
There are people who travel
People who stay
And people who are passing through
There are people who are high
And those who hit rock bottom
People who sleep
And Jean d'Ormessons
There are winter people
And there are divergent people
People who hope
And people from Abidjan
There are people from the North, people from the South
Sweet lives
And rough lives

And there are happy people
Sad lives sleeping outside
And there are happy people
And others who are making a fortune

There are high-class people
And there are low-class people
There are nice people,
policemen
Junkies and thugs
People who cry, people who laugh
Teddy Riners and Carla Brunis
There are Jean Valjeans
Who eat their sorrow
Yes, real people who are pitiful
People who love each other and gather
Different people who resemble us

And there are happy people
Sad lives sleeping outside
And there are happy people
And others who are making a fortune

There are night people
There are morning people
People who are bored
Model agents
There are people who annoy
And people who relieve
People who dream
The life of other people
And there are changing people
And there are stable people
Distressing and remarkable people
People from the East
People from the West
People who go
Others who stay

And there are happy people
Sad lives sleeping outside
And there are happy people
And others who are making a fortune

And there are indignant people, indigent people
Crazy people, merchants
There are simple people, lonely people
Lucky people and humble people
There are lovers, leaders
People who are struggling
And good people
There are gay people and sergeants
And in all this

And in all this, us two
And in all this, us two
In all this, us two
In all this, us two
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Friday earworm music thread
at 14:58 6 Mar 2026

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Binnerettes game called off
at 10:02 6 Mar 2026

It’s a big loss if it’s true, as he was one of our best signings but in fairness, if you Google him, it was never going to last. He’s been at more clubs than I managed during my divorce.

……aahh ‘Roberts’ in the 80-90’s, you couldn’t fail.
[Post edited 6 Mar 10:03]
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Exiles to be Banished into Non-League Obscurity.
at 11:20 4 Mar 2026

…………and so it continues. The rollercoaster ride, consistently inconsistent, our Jekyll and Hyde season. How do we play so well against high flying Cambridge and yet so bad against Barrow and Chesterfield?

It was only a few months since we gave Chesterfield a 6-2 pasting at the JCS, recently they had managed only a point from their last two games and with our two goalscorers back from injury, there was every reason to be positive, the squad should have been up for this one, but no, it was another shocker. Once again we were on the ropes for much of the game and on 70 mins our season hit the canvas. With 36 points still to play for, the cruellest of all emotions, hope, will continue to torment us, but we are getting close to requiring a miracle.

We can make all kinds of excuses, but after 34 games, the table doesn’t lie. If we are to be honest, our hopes of the play-offs were always laced with delusion, we are not good enough and that is painful, because we should be.

DC and his backroom team worked wonders to sign some good players to replace the ones we lost (and all on a reduced budget). We managed to keep hold of assets in the transfer window, and although there are positives, so many players have just not performed this season, others that have been given a chance have not taken it. Once again, the Cat 2 Academy (that should be providing at least 4 or 5 first team players) cannot offer any help. It is a shame and you have to wonder how much longer DC/NC can stay positive, especially as next season they will most likely need to rebuild the squad again. I think their cult status will stay strong, but I fear that someone will offer them a job sooner or later. There are mangers with much worse records that are offered employment every month.

Whilst it would take Durhamesque positivity to think we can still make the play-offs, there are many reasons to stay happy. Many teams in our position, where the owner wants out, fall out of the league into administration or worse, but here we are treading water, mid-table, players wages are still being paid and we are even turning down offers for our players. Despite the bleak years that seem to go on for ever, there is a very long list of clubs that have suffered much worse than us and we can at least look forward to another season of league football.

If we think back to Etherington’s last games, non-league looked a foregone conclusion as we waited for the next hopeless managerial appointment. The main man receiving ‘see you next Tuesday’ chants and gates falling towards 2000. It was on the verge of turning very ugly. We can only image what would have happened if Mr. C hadn’t have pulled off the masterstroke of signing DC/NC. It certainly bought him time to look for a new owner while simultaneously re-energising the club.

Changing subject, how in this age, can we play two games with only one goalkeeper in the squad? Do we have a first rate stand-in keeper in the squad? Our own Phil Jagielka? There’s no doubt that Samson has mastered diving, but in all seriousness, how can a League club find itself in this position? It needs to be addressed before Saturday.

So, after two disappointing games, we need an easy game against a relegation certainty and right on queue we have Newport County, but oh no, just our luck Newport have found some form and are no longer the lost cause they were a few weeks ago. Their last four games include decent wins against Tranmere and Salford and a respectable draw away to Fleetwood.

Whilst the next game is always the ‘must win’, this one does seem like it will shape the rest of our season. It is going to be difficult, but what will our reaction be? Do we want this or have we already thrown in the towel, has DC lost it? If we don’t get something from this one, then surely it’s over, Michael Caine, Little Voice style. (Google that at your peril).

Our record against Newport is good, since our first meeting in 1950, we have played them 65 times with 29 wins, 17 draws and 19 defeats, but we are haunted by the 5-0 thumping back in October 2023 when post-match, captain fantastic Connor Hall thought it would be a good idea to get trappy with the faithful. Read the room Connor FFS, our lads and lasses had just spent a fortune and literally travelled to another country to watch you play like clueless amateurs, roll over and let County tickle your tummies!!!! The wheels may have come off, but at least we have some pride under DC and don’t capitulate.

Like the U’s, Newport have a vocal support, so hopefully there will be a good atmosphere come 3pm.




I’m not sure if there were any injuries from Tuesday, but I’m going with what must be our best team (apart from Hunt in for the injured Iandolo):

Macey

KVY Tucker Araujo Hunt

Read Bishop

Lisbie Payne Anderson

Mbick

Subs: Emergency Goalkeeper, Barbrook, Flanagan, Akachukwu, Williams, Tovide, Gordon


There’s more chance of predicting the results of a lucky dip than knowing how we will perform on Saturday, but in the spirit of our old friend, I’m going for a 1-3 win, with 2 goals for Mbick and one for Lisbie.

The weather for Saturday is forecast to be light wind, light cloud and 12 degrees. Rodney Parade is quite some journey from Colchester and will test the loyalty of the faithful, who last saw the U’s win away at the Gas in mid-January. Safe journey to all who travel and here’s hoping that you witness another win in the west.

Up the U’s
[Post edited 4 Mar 11:33]
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Former U's
at 20:21 28 Feb 2026

Big John Akinde got the first goal not Akande.

Akinde/Akande is a bit of a nightmare for the kitman/woman.
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Tartan Skirt Army
at 17:51 25 Feb 2026

Pleased that FIFA have allowed the Scottish to take their furry handbags into World Cup games.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/art

They will have somewhere to keep their tissues.

Thousands of pasty faced gingers who've only seen three hours of sun all year will be on the lash in Miami at the end of June. There's a business opportunity for anyone with a few bottles of aftersun.

ABS

[Post edited 25 Feb 17:55]
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Parky, Parky, what’s the score!
at 22:07 23 Feb 2026

I must have watched Pulp Fiction at least five times I could probably quote most of the film.

Some of the acting in Escape to Victory was cringeworthy, but I loved the other three you mentioned.

There is another footy film where the opening scenes were filmed at Layer Road!
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Parky, Parky, what’s the score!
at 12:00 23 Feb 2026

Slicker – Barnet, sounds like an advert for Brylcreem (do they still sell that?)

Didn’t realise he was on loan from the Farmers. Hopefully he’ll make their first team soon.
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Former U's (n/t)
at 09:26 23 Feb 2026

I know, Chelmsford, I too was lost for words.
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Parky, Parky, what’s the score!
at 08:08 23 Feb 2026

For those lucky enough to be too young to understand any of this:



I can imagine the scenes at the Racecourse Ground must have been similar. Coming from 2-3 down to win 5-3. Good old Parky!
[Post edited 23 Feb 10:47]
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Parky, Parky, what’s the score!
at 08:04 23 Feb 2026

I'm guessing it meant something to Norway. 45 years later and you can still buy an amusing Tee-Shirt commemorating the famous night in Oslo.

https://www.redmolotov.com/nor
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Parky, Parky, what’s the score!
at 07:59 23 Feb 2026

Using my very best Samuel L Jackson impression "Check out the big brain on Wessex".

As well as playing 11 times for England, 21 year old Osman played POW airman Doug Clure (or possibly Clune) in Escape to Victory.

This clip of his big line "I don't want to go.... let's go back....we can win this" shows why he stuck with football instead of a career in Hollywood.



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Parky, Parky, what’s the score!
at 19:00 22 Feb 2026

In what was probably his most watched game, the score was 4-4, although it should have been 4-5, but for some dodgy refereeing.
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Parky, Parky, what’s the score!
at 18:43 22 Feb 2026

In the words of the late, great Meat Loaf, 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

Mariner was at Plymouth before and after (as manager) and Mills was at Layer Road in our darkest hour.

But who was the airman? He played 294 times for the farmers.

EDIT: Despite loosing to Norway, leaving Romania one point behind us with two games in hand and Hungary two points behind with three games in hand, we still qualified thanks to Switzerland beating Romania away and drawing at home. Mick Mills was England captain in the five games at the finals. It should have been Keegan, but he was injured.
[Post edited 22 Feb 18:55]
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Parky, Parky, what’s the score!
at 10:03 22 Feb 2026

One joined the RAF, one became a Pilgrim and the other was at the helm as the ship went down.
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Parky, Parky, what’s the score!
at 09:53 22 Feb 2026

Funny enough there were 3 Farmers in the England team that took the original 'beating' in 1981.

Any ideas, without Googling?
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