| Manky Christmas Presents 13:56 - Dec 9 with 3559 views | colinallcars |
At this time of year, with Christmas impending, one's thoughts inevitably turn to some of the manky old presents received over the years.
My brother-in-law bought me an Asda voucher one year. |  | | |  |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 20:33 - Dec 11 with 649 views | derbyhoop |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 10:50 - Dec 11 by BrianMcCarthy |
Which reminds me abut Kerry GAA, my cousin and the sheep.
In Gaelic Football, Kerry are the New York Yankees. Like the Yankees their star is fading now but back in 1982 they were the undoubted kingpins, with a fine team that had won the All-Ireland four years in a row. And in 1982 they were in the Final again. Going for their fifth in a row. No-one had ever done five.
Nearly as famous as the Kerry team are the Kerry people, a race that have never answered a question with anything other than a question. There are no talkative people in Kerry. They do not share information. If they even know their surnames, we cannot be sure. The Irish Revenue have given up on them. When their Mothers call them to their dinner they stand at the gate for a few hours, wondering what the trap is.
And they have never, ever, told an outsider that they might win a game of football. Standard answers are "yerra, I d'know, we have fierce injuries", "yerra, I shpose we're up againsht it", "yerra, we've been lucky to get this far" and other assorted nonsense.
Except in 1982. In 1982, a sort of madness infected them. Even the most taciturn Kerrymen and women were crowing. They only had to beat Offaly to make it 5-in-a-row. Poor ol' Offaly. Useless Offaly. Who were Offaly!
Browns of Castleisland were making commemorative drinking glasses, celebrating not the pursuit of the 5-in-row, but the winning of it. Ahead of the Final. And distributing them to other Counties. For Free (another new word for Kerry people). Songs were being sung. Hats were worn. T-Shirts were printed, And worn, and worn out. All proclaiming the achievement. Before the day dawned at all.
Well, of course, sport refused to bend to poetry. And in the final minute of a tense All-Ireland Final a fine Offaly team, trailing by two points, made one last raid, delivered one last ball into the box and their star sub Seamus Darby caught the high ball, spun, and shot high into the net to win the game for Offaly by a point.
The 5-in-a-row was gone.
In 31 Counties, people rushed to the local bar and ordered a drink, any drink, as long as it was served in a 5-in-a-row glass, songs were sung, hats were flung, the New York Yankees of Gaelic Football were a ship smashed on the shore.
Which brings us to my cousin, Mick "Straic" McCarthy, a tall, broad, wiry and rogueish sheep farmer. A man who laughed with silent mirth and shaking shoulders. Mick was the only sheep farmer on the Cork side of the border in our part of West Cork. He dealt with and relied upon Kerry sheep farmers for his living and for his family's food.
He would have been wise to never mention Seamus Darby's goal. And Mick was a wise man.
But he was, firstly, a Cork man. And he'd had enough of Kerry's crowing in the weeks preceding the Final. So, when others were drinking in the 5-in-a-row glasses and singing Seamus Darby songs, Mick was silently preparing for the next Fair Day in Co.Kerry. The sheep were brought down from the mountain, readied for sale, wormed, dipped, penned and preened and, when the day came, the flock was driven down Kenmare High Street.
Hundreds of sheep. Hundreds. Each sheep resplendent in a 5-in-a-row T-Shirt.
After a stunned silence, a near-riot broke out. No-one was taciturn now. Insults were hurled Mick's way. For a while, it looked as if fists and boots would surely follow. Children were ushered off the street.
Mick just leaned against a wall, shoulders heaving with silent mirth. And let it all pass over him.
The sheep had to be driven back that night. Maybe he sold them another day. [Post edited 11 Dec 2021 19:03]
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Great story. Hope it was true. But you can never tell when a Irishman tells a (tall) tale. |  |
| Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the Earth all one’s lifetime. (Mark Twain)
Find me on twitter @derbyhoop |
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| Manky Christmas Presents on 20:52 - Dec 11 with 626 views | BrianMcCarthy |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 20:33 - Dec 11 by derbyhoop |
Great story. Hope it was true. But you can never tell when a Irishman tells a (tall) tale. |
Fair point! But this one's true, I promise, Derby. I was twelve at the time and witnessed it all.
Mick Straic passed away last year, ar dheis Dé. One of the gentlest and certainly one of the funniest men I ever knew. |  |
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| Manky Christmas Presents on 00:52 - Dec 12 with 556 views | CLAREMAN1995 |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 19:33 - Dec 11 by Noelmc |
Brilliant, Brian.
A fine example of the wonderful Irish art of storytelling. |
Brian forgot to mention a little push in the back by Darby to get that little bit of space needed but nothing suspicious about the finish to the back of the net just outstanding.
I worked with a guy from Killarney all this week and inspired by Brian's outstanding story casually asked him if they are over it yet .
No was the answer but he was gracious enough to admit the whole of Ireland wanted Offaly to win ,then added the push in the back bit haha |  | | |
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